i remember when i saw him for the first time.a couple of weeks ago breaking out in to song, in the middle of the busy theatre just before his first surgery that day. lightness of his nature and the humour of his sudden vocals brought a smile on my face. i was a bit excited because i knew id be working with him in a couple of weeks.
however it took until the second day and mid way into that for me to realise i did in fact fact like-like him. the chit chat, him singing 'i hate my self for loving you' between patients and me being accused of not caring enough because i didn't want surgery as a career sealed the deal for me. i will see him tomorrow and then next week, we'll probably youtube a couple of more songs and talk about the thai restaurant that we both love in kensington.he will ask me a couple of more questions about some disease i have never heard of, i will stare obliviously and he will shake his head in disappointment and teach me all he knows. then we will walk our separate ways.he will forget my name and my face and i will still smile when i look back at the cold wednesday of
march.
for this cold wedensday reminded me why been attracted to someone is probably important. it reminded me that a skip of a heart beat actually feels fulfilling and enticing at the same time. it slowly showed me what type of man i am capable of liking once again because over the last 4 years memory has failed me in that aspect.
most of all it proved to me i have not become stone cold, i have not lost the ability to be happy in the laughter and smile of someone else.
a good half a day later i still smile, because i found out i am still capable of an absent minded smile, simple in gesture but epitome of the complexity that is happiness.
